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Posted on September 17, 2007

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And then something comes along that destroys these routines.  You get in a fight on the tube.  Someone punches you.  Flat, hard on your knees, scuffed, while tides of people push past you and gaze down indifferent, remote, other.  The world takes on a cold new alien cast.  How suddenly empty it is!   The depth of that shock!  Empty!  You walk around for a breath of air, and it is as if you have never seen it before, this heartless, mercantilist and self-centred place. You have never really actually been in these ‘familiar’ circumstances before, not in full awareness, not in reality.  You have never up to now realised how blank things are; how invisible and insignificant life is; actually.  How thin the distinction between you and the street beggar, diffidently holding out his hand.  A fleck in this greater scene in which existence could just as easily be a non-existence – and counts for nothing.   You no longer fit in. 

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Posted in: The World